King Henry VIII's Pickup Lines Sweepstakes
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sugarboots
Apr 1 2009, 6:25 PM EDT
What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!
Conyle
Apr 1 2009, 6:57 PM EDT
What a lovely neck you have...
Sherlock221b1
Apr 1 2009, 6:58 PM EDT
My Lady, to taste your beauty would be worth my crown.
Eternity123
Apr 1 2009, 7:23 PM EDT
Henry: Ahh, my lady, lets see now. Divorced. Beheaded. Died. Divorced.....[looks at girl].....Ahh, still want to keep your virtue?
dbrelsford
Apr 1 2009, 8:13 PM EDT
KatherynHoward
Apr 1 2009, 8:25 PM EDT
Anne'sCurls
Apr 1 2009, 8:41 PM EDT
I killed my last wife for you
desilee
Apr 1 2009, 8:43 PM EDT
If you come to my boudoir, ma lady, I'll show you the crown jewel.
wakwashbosha
Apr 1 2009, 8:52 PM EDT
To lie with me, is to be in the arms of God's annointed. To consent to me, is to consent to God. You do love God, don't you?
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
You are my most devoted subject, let me show you my gratitude. It is my duty as king to fulfill your desire.
saxoman
Apr 1 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
"Dear Damsel...want to keep your head"?
lunchsgirl11
Apr 1 2009, 9:47 PM EDT
karenofbethany
Apr 1 2009, 9:52 PM EDT
1. "Let me make love to you and I'll make you lose your head..."
2. "I'd kill every man, woman and child in the kingdom to win your love"
3. "Let's play target practice with your womb"
4. "I'm the strong but sensitive type - after I kill my wives I always cry copious tears."
5. Hi, sweetheart, wanna play "survivor" with me?"
beardedlady
Apr 1 2009, 10:10 PM EDT
-You look good enough to eat.
-Darling, that's not puss from my leg wound. I am just happy to see you.
Anne'sCurls
Apr 1 2009, 10:16 PM EDT
Come here little girl who is young enough to be my grand-daughter, come sit on my knee
I'M THE KING OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to marry you, I just want to sleep with you
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:22 PM EDT
or give some!
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:25 PM EDT
AS USUAL YOU ARE AWESOME!! GREAT LINES
I can't imagine what a man says because I'm a woman. However, I have been seduced, and I ca't rmember anything more tintilating than secrecy.
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:27 PM EDT
TheLadyNatalie
Apr 1 2009, 10:40 PM EDT
Henry:"Want to know how to get ahead in this court?"
Lady: "Absolutely!"
Henry: "great! sleep with me and I'll let you pick your favorite from my collection"
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:51 PM EDT
You are like a precious jewel far more precious than anything I could ever give to you...
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:52 PM EDT
lol!
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:58 PM EDT
Henry sings:
"Crazy b##ch" by Buckcherry~"you f##k so good..."
or
"Stoned" by Hinder~"The sex is so much better when your mad at me..."
LOL! just popped up in my mind...amazing...
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:59 PM EDT
Dont know if I will win any prizes with those naughty songs but hey it dont hurt to try! Henry is naughty!
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 11:41 PM EDT
stephanieford
Apr 1 2009, 11:45 PM EDT
"I can not be the wealthiest king if I do not possess you."
"To kiss your lips would be to taste heaven."
"For you, I am not a king, but your humble servant."
"I throw down my crown and denounce my faith to serve and worship you, if only you say I can have you."
"If you sleep with me you can keep your head"
"I rock in the sack. Trust me, my other wives were dying to sleep with me."
"Don't bite... If I lose my head, you lose yours."
"Hey baby, how YOU doin?"
wolfieangel
Apr 1 2009, 11:50 PM EDT
I may be the King of England, but I am your most loyal servant. Now let me show you my crown.
kattimae
Apr 1 2009, 11:51 PM EDT
"Darlin' that's not puss from my leg wound I'm just happy to see you!".....Hysterical yet gross!LOL
kattimae
Apr 2 2009, 12:01 AM EDT
I wish I had saved my septer's virginity for you as I know you are giving yours to grace me with your loyalty to the crown.
My dear, part of your duties as a loyal servant of the queen is to polish the crown jewel of the King!
My lady, to prove your loyalty to the crown you simply must undress and let me worship at your fountain!
.....If King Henry were alive today...
Hey baby, the royalty of England are like rockstars ...wanna be my groupie and meet me in the shower after tea?
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:40 AM EDT
"My kingdom for your head!...hah!"
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:41 AM EDT
"Be careful, my dear! Don't lose your head over me...!"
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:44 AM EDT
"what a beautiful Swan Pie you would make!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Natalie_09
Apr 2 2009, 6:38 AM EDT
You, Dear Lady, remind me of a blossaming rose...blooming in to the most beautiful, delicate flower I have the pleasure of gazing upon. May I kiss you?
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 7:11 AM EDT
Your head! Your head! My kingdom for your head!
(You can never go wrong when you manipulate Shakespeare...lol)
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 7:16 AM EDT
Look, baby, I know I have a bad track record , but LOOK at me - I'm 300 pounds of heaven!
MISSSALLY
Apr 2 2009, 9:33 AM EDT
like to see my etchings? i keep them by my bed!!!!!
maccajack
Apr 2 2009, 11:08 AM EDT
I swear it. I really don't do this often. In fact I'm quite new to all of it. The new kid on the BLOCK if you will.
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 2 2009, 11:38 AM EDT
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 2 2009, 11:39 AM EDT
Don't bite...~
Dying to sleep w/ me...
Steph LOL!!
hrm_elizabeth
Apr 2 2009, 12:31 PM EDT
What other women? I swear, it's over with all of them. It's all in the past. Let's move forward.
Hey, do you like looking at the stars? The view is much better from my chambers. Want to go look?
CarolineZ
Apr 2 2009, 1:45 PM EDT
You are my rose without a thorn.
funrod6
Apr 2 2009, 2:56 PM EDT
funrod6
Apr 2 2009, 3:03 PM EDT
**setting up the scene before the pick up**
Henry and Brandon are at the great table. Henry eyes a new lady a court. He leans into Brandon and say Who is this beauty. As Brandon says My Lord she is new at court. Henry does his snarl, and laugh. Pushes himself away from the table. Walks up slowly and gently behind the lady and gently wraps an arm around her waist, and whispers
"There is no beauty greater than yours, Ive been to many places far and have all the jewels at my hand. But you ma lady have such Beauty I have never seen *leans close to her ear with his warm breath* I wish to see more of your beauty*
Henry walks away...........looks back with the follow me look.
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 2 2009, 3:17 PM EDT
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 5:04 PM EDT
Hey, babe, how would you like to be Mrs.Tudor no. 7?
Dakkietudor
Apr 2 2009, 5:08 PM EDT
No matter how many wives I've had you will be my last...and favourite.
Dakkietudor
Apr 2 2009, 5:09 PM EDT
That is a very beautiful gown you're wearing. I would love you see you out of it tonight.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 5:10 PM EDT
How can I get rid of thee? Let me count the ways...
babbsny
Apr 2 2009, 6:46 PM EDT
You're so sexy that I'd kill to make you "My Queen."
Do you like swan as much as I do?
stephanieford
Apr 2 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
stephanieford
Apr 2 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
"Hey there, what's your name? I have a thing for Katherine's and Anne's. (wink wink)"
"I may be 300 pounds, but all my muscle is in my codpiece."
"You haven't seen the kingdom until you've explored THIS."
"Look into my pants, would I lie to you?"
"They say to be without me is torture."
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:33 PM EDT
THE PLAGUE! THE PLAGUE! Well, it looks like we are stuck here together, and you only live once, you know...
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:34 PM EDT
How about a little joust in the hay, sweetheart?
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:39 PM EDT
Come to my rooms and I'll show you the family jewels...
offwithherhead
Apr 2 2009, 10:09 PM EDT
Have you ever given any serious consideration to becoming Queen? (winks)
SirRalph
Apr 2 2009, 11:51 PM EDT
"It's Good To Be The King".
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 3 2009, 12:09 AM EDT
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 3 2009, 12:16 AM EDT
All muscle in my codpiece!! Katherines and Anne's!!! FOMCALMAO!!
{FellOffMyChairAndLaughedMyA$$Off}
"My dear you havent seen the royal jewels yet, they are much bigger than those you wear around your neck!"
"So your name is Anne huh, ummm, can I see your fingers and toes please!"
"You have such a radiance about you more than all the gold and jewels in my kingdom"
hohumpigsbum
Apr 3 2009, 2:59 AM EDT
Hey,baby, how'd you like to be Queen for the day?
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 3 2009, 3:19 AM EDT
"Ah the Tudor rose blooms bright and fast...perhaps yours will be the one to last....!"
misseulamaes
Apr 3 2009, 10:04 AM EDT
My Lady, don't loose your head but I think you are beautiful!
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:19 AM EDT
Care to join me at a party where heads always roll?
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:38 AM EDT
You make me feel like I'm losing my head...let me return the favor.
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:50 AM EDT
You're so beautiful, I don't know who will come to a head first!
(*Groans heard all around, including my own. That's it for me!*)
tudorcrazy
Apr 3 2009, 11:11 AM EDT
tudorcrazy
Apr 3 2009, 11:13 AM EDT
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 3 2009, 11:37 AM EDT
Want to live longer Mylady ! Ravish on my Royal jelly & I will fill your honeypot beleive me I am the bees'n'ees!,
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 3 2009, 11:42 AM EDT
beardedlady
Apr 3 2009, 11:50 AM EDT
Some religious pickup lines:
-You make a man want to get excommunicated.
-My love for you burns hotter than my richest monastery.
stephanieford
Apr 3 2009, 12:25 PM EDT
stephanieford
Apr 3 2009, 12:27 PM EDT
That's a good one
mysticsmith
Apr 3 2009, 12:31 PM EDT
i am yr loyal heart and will always be true
Siouxsee
Apr 3 2009, 2:03 PM EDT
BALLS SAID THE QUEEN, IF I WERE THE KING I'D HAVE 2 OF THEM!
queen_elizabeth_1533
Apr 3 2009, 4:42 PM EDT
"I was anointed by God, you are the angel he sent down from heaven. We were meant to be together!"
alne
Apr 3 2009, 5:52 PM EDT
My chamber is two doors down, my lady.
LadyJane1961
Apr 3 2009, 6:06 PM EDT
i am henry the eighth i am henry the eighth i am i am i been married 7 time before want to be the 8th
MISSSALLY
Apr 4 2009, 11:19 AM EDT
hey babe do you want to boogie? boogie woogie woggie with me?
misstudor
Apr 5 2009, 1:07 AM EDT
How about...you SHOW me your secrets and I'll TELL you some of mine...
octaviaminor2
Apr 5 2009, 12:45 PM EDT
Does't thou want to see what layest beneath a kingsize codpiece, fair maid?
njjennifer
Apr 5 2009, 10:17 PM EDT
BlackNan
Apr 6 2009, 6:47 AM EDT
I hope your name is Anne or Katherine... I like keeping it simple.
RoyalMarie00
Apr 6 2009, 10:57 AM EDT
My lady you wouldn't pass up this chanse to be my lucky numebr 7.
mall0080
Apr 6 2009, 11:19 AM EDT
Why don't you come back with me to my palace...I'll make your head roll.
Alchemist81
Apr 8 2009, 1:20 AM EDT
Play your cards right and you may one day have a two season arc...
SemperEadem
Apr 8 2009, 8:44 AM EDT
Natalie_09
Apr 8 2009, 1:09 PM EDT
That gown....so beautiful...I bet it would look better of the floor of my chamber, catch my drift ^_-?
ElizabethRegina
Apr 8 2009, 2:29 PM EDT
"You know, it is better to have loved me and lose a head, than to never have loved me at all!"
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 9 2009, 7:42 AM EDT
lesliemu
Apr 9 2009, 10:16 AM EDT
King Henry's pick up line: "My lady, let me take you, you'll never be the same."
lesliemu
Apr 9 2009, 10:19 AM EDT
funny!
karenofbethany
Apr 9 2009, 4:33 PM EDT
Oh my beautiful Tudor Rose...let me fertilize you
maryam58
Apr 9 2009, 4:50 PM EDT
Elsann
Apr 9 2009, 5:04 PM EDT
Halt in the name of the King. Okay, spread 'em.
FirstTrueQueenAnne
Apr 9 2009, 5:36 PM EDT
You are the rarest rose in all the land. I'd very much like to prick my fingers on u
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:26 PM EDT
At the auditions for the next Mrs.Tudor...
HENRY: Now, if you're name isn't Catherine,Anne, or Jane please leave now unless you're willling to change it - I'm trying to keep it simple.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:27 PM EDT
You are a rose without a thorn..oh wait I've already used that nickname for another of my wives, I'll get Cranmer to think of another I'm sure he has nothing better to do.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:28 PM EDT
If you want to pick you're preferred method of dying now it'd save a lot of time later
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:30 PM EDT
At his 42nd wedding...
Bishop:Do you take Henry to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Bride:*Gagged And shaking her head* No! No!
Henry: I think I heard a "yes", Bishop
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:35 PM EDT
Divorced,Beheaded,Died,Divorced,Beheaded..well let's see if this one survives shall we?
ladyinwaiting1986
Apr 9 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
Well...I'm a single white male, with 3 children all alone in a castle. I like sweet-natured weman with fair hair and blue eyes, hoseback riding, jousting and almost all food. Please...no contestants named Catherin, Anne, or Jane.
ladyamy
Apr 9 2009, 9:25 PM EDT
“My love, I ache for the touch of your sweet lips to mine. Ahh just the scent of you weakens me. You are the only woman who can satisfy my needs! Good God woman I need to taste you". As he seductively kisses her hand and passionately places her finger in his hungry mouth, he slips a ring out asking her to Marry him. She cries and says yes. Then he looks at her very seriously and says: Ohh yes I almost forgot, I need you to sign this nuptual agreement, that just says if you don't give me a son withen a year of our marriage I get to keep your head.
Elsann
Apr 9 2009, 9:40 PM EDT
I think this is my favorite. Not that she could complain if he got it wrong!
mchnor37
Apr 9 2009, 10:50 PM EDT
"My lady, before you lay here in your lord's bed, I ask thee.....am I the lord you hold dear to your heart?"
mchnor37
Apr 9 2009, 10:55 PM EDT
"My lady....I ask thee.......when you lay here in your lord's bed.....am I the lord you hold so dear and close to your heart?"
christiana_de_mer
Apr 9 2009, 11:45 PM EDT
Trust me, my dear. It's just gossip. They all died of natural causes.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 10 2009, 4:52 AM EDT
I will love you until the day I die...well, the day YOU die
theanneboleynfiles
Apr 10 2009, 7:49 AM EDT
"Not many women lose their head over me, but I can guarantee you will, sweetheart."
sherrylabtec
Apr 10 2009, 7:59 AM EDT
My Lady, What do you think of a walk in the garden, and a roll in the hay.
sherrylabtec
Apr 10 2009, 8:07 AM EDT
It's good to be the KING!
Wanna try for Queen?
MISSSALLY
Apr 10 2009, 12:34 PM EDT
oh baby everything is allright..ill be the one to tuck you in at night...one thing i can gurantee you wont find no body else like me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hohumpigsbum
Apr 10 2009, 1:20 PM EDT
*While playing chess with a beautiful woman*
Henry: Oh look at that - King takes Queen.
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:18 PM EDT
I can give you the moon & the stars but most of all I want to give you my sun!
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:32 PM EDT
Mylady please accept this beautiful necklace for 1 night of unforgettable passion with your king I promise you It will be mind blowing, go on girl stick your neck out!
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:57 PM EDT
Hey baby your eyes shine like the stars above, after a night with me you will be totally in love, I promise you darling you will be as high as the sky, you will be up there with the best of them no lie!
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 11 2009, 9:35 AM EDT
So who is the winner? Anyone know yet?
mysticsmith
Apr 11 2009, 10:04 AM EDT
i dont know the winner either but thought i could add another one heheheheh . the houses of york and lancaster are untied let us be also
marianna1959
Apr 11 2009, 12:56 PM EDT
my lady to taste your beauty would be worth my crown
TheRedWhiteRose
Apr 11 2009, 6:36 PM EDT
"To caress you heart I must be between your breast"
jsardonne
Apr 11 2009, 7:10 PM EDT
Henry: I'm exercising my divine rights, interested in a divine time?
darrrrksunshine
Apr 19 2009, 6:05 PM EDT
Let's see- you have a 50% chance that you will marry me and live happily ever after until you die. You have a 50% chance that you will marry me and I will divorce you. You have a 50% chance of marrying me and having your head cut off. What? That is not more than 100%, how dare you question my mathematical skills.
So how 'bout it? Want to try your odds? It's 50/50. You win, I win, everybody wins.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:34 PM EDT
Could you treat my third leg?
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:36 PM EDT
Since I am a monarch anointed by God, I suggest we go and have a "divine" time.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:38 PM EDT
I always dreamed of a "menage a six" but the others didn't make it.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:39 PM EDT
Let's go hunting...you can choose your own "mount"
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
My cod piece is tight and I need a friendly readjustment.
sugarboots
Apr 1 2009, 6:25 PM EDT
What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!
Conyle
Apr 1 2009, 6:57 PM EDT
What a lovely neck you have...
Sherlock221b1
Apr 1 2009, 6:58 PM EDT
Madame, I am your King and declare it that you are the loveliest sight in all my Kingdom."What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
My Lady, to taste your beauty would be worth my crown.
Eternity123
Apr 1 2009, 7:23 PM EDT
Henry: Ahh, my lady, lets see now. Divorced. Beheaded. Died. Divorced.....[looks at girl].....Ahh, still want to keep your virtue?
dbrelsford
Apr 1 2009, 8:13 PM EDT
my castle or yours?"What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
KatherynHoward
Apr 1 2009, 8:25 PM EDT
Darlin', let me give you a KING-sized good time!"What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
Anne'sCurls
Apr 1 2009, 8:41 PM EDT
I killed my last wife for you
desilee
Apr 1 2009, 8:43 PM EDT
If you come to my boudoir, ma lady, I'll show you the crown jewel.
wakwashbosha
Apr 1 2009, 8:52 PM EDT
To lie with me, is to be in the arms of God's annointed. To consent to me, is to consent to God. You do love God, don't you?
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
You are my most devoted subject, let me show you my gratitude. It is my duty as king to fulfill your desire.
saxoman
Apr 1 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
"Dear Damsel...want to keep your head"?
lunchsgirl11
Apr 1 2009, 9:47 PM EDT
Lets see whats under that corset of yours my dear."What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
karenofbethany
Apr 1 2009, 9:52 PM EDT
1. "Let me make love to you and I'll make you lose your head..."
2. "I'd kill every man, woman and child in the kingdom to win your love"
3. "Let's play target practice with your womb"
4. "I'm the strong but sensitive type - after I kill my wives I always cry copious tears."
5. Hi, sweetheart, wanna play "survivor" with me?"
beardedlady
Apr 1 2009, 10:10 PM EDT
-You look good enough to eat.
-Darling, that's not puss from my leg wound. I am just happy to see you.
Anne'sCurls
Apr 1 2009, 10:16 PM EDT
Come here little girl who is young enough to be my grand-daughter, come sit on my knee
I'M THE KING OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to marry you, I just want to sleep with you
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:22 PM EDT
or give some!
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:25 PM EDT
AS USUAL YOU ARE AWESOME!! GREAT LINES
I can't imagine what a man says because I'm a woman. However, I have been seduced, and I ca't rmember anything more tintilating than secrecy.
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 10:27 PM EDT
Don't tell my wife!"Come here little girl who is young enough to be my grand-daughter, come sit on my knee
I'M THE KING OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to marry you, I just want to sleep with you
"
TheLadyNatalie
Apr 1 2009, 10:40 PM EDT
Henry:"Want to know how to get ahead in this court?"
Lady: "Absolutely!"
Henry: "great! sleep with me and I'll let you pick your favorite from my collection"
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:51 PM EDT
You are like a precious jewel far more precious than anything I could ever give to you...
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:52 PM EDT
Naughty girl!"-You look good enough to eat.
-Darling, that's not puss from my leg wound. I am just happy to see you. "
lol!
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:58 PM EDT
Henry sings:
"Crazy b##ch" by Buckcherry~"you f##k so good..."
or
"Stoned" by Hinder~"The sex is so much better when your mad at me..."
LOL! just popped up in my mind...amazing...
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 1 2009, 10:59 PM EDT
Dont know if I will win any prizes with those naughty songs but hey it dont hurt to try! Henry is naughty!
tudorcrazy
Apr 1 2009, 11:41 PM EDT
or give some!""Dear Damsel...want to keep your head"?"
stephanieford
Apr 1 2009, 11:45 PM EDT
"I can not be the wealthiest king if I do not possess you."
"To kiss your lips would be to taste heaven."
"For you, I am not a king, but your humble servant."
"I throw down my crown and denounce my faith to serve and worship you, if only you say I can have you."
"If you sleep with me you can keep your head"
"I rock in the sack. Trust me, my other wives were dying to sleep with me."
"Don't bite... If I lose my head, you lose yours."
"Hey baby, how YOU doin?"
wolfieangel
Apr 1 2009, 11:50 PM EDT
I may be the King of England, but I am your most loyal servant. Now let me show you my crown.
kattimae
Apr 1 2009, 11:51 PM EDT
"Darlin' that's not puss from my leg wound I'm just happy to see you!".....Hysterical yet gross!LOL
kattimae
Apr 2 2009, 12:01 AM EDT
I wish I had saved my septer's virginity for you as I know you are giving yours to grace me with your loyalty to the crown.
My dear, part of your duties as a loyal servant of the queen is to polish the crown jewel of the King!
My lady, to prove your loyalty to the crown you simply must undress and let me worship at your fountain!
.....If King Henry were alive today...
Hey baby, the royalty of England are like rockstars ...wanna be my groupie and meet me in the shower after tea?
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:40 AM EDT
"My kingdom for your head!...hah!"
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:41 AM EDT
"Be careful, my dear! Don't lose your head over me...!"
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 2 2009, 2:44 AM EDT
"what a beautiful Swan Pie you would make!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Natalie_09
Apr 2 2009, 6:38 AM EDT
You, Dear Lady, remind me of a blossaming rose...blooming in to the most beautiful, delicate flower I have the pleasure of gazing upon. May I kiss you?
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 7:11 AM EDT
Your head! Your head! My kingdom for your head!
(You can never go wrong when you manipulate Shakespeare...lol)
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 7:16 AM EDT
Look, baby, I know I have a bad track record , but LOOK at me - I'm 300 pounds of heaven!
MISSSALLY
Apr 2 2009, 9:33 AM EDT
like to see my etchings? i keep them by my bed!!!!!
maccajack
Apr 2 2009, 11:08 AM EDT
I swear it. I really don't do this often. In fact I'm quite new to all of it. The new kid on the BLOCK if you will.
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 2 2009, 11:38 AM EDT
OOOooo! LOL!"or give some!"
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 2 2009, 11:39 AM EDT
How YOU doin!~"
"I rock in the sack. Trust me, my other wives were dying to sleep with me."
"Don't bite... If I lose my head, you lose yours."
"Hey baby, how YOU doin?""
Don't bite...~
Dying to sleep w/ me...
Steph LOL!!
hrm_elizabeth
Apr 2 2009, 12:31 PM EDT
What other women? I swear, it's over with all of them. It's all in the past. Let's move forward.
Hey, do you like looking at the stars? The view is much better from my chambers. Want to go look?
CarolineZ
Apr 2 2009, 1:45 PM EDT
You are my rose without a thorn.
funrod6
Apr 2 2009, 2:56 PM EDT
LOL love those songs...XO"Henry sings:
"Crazy b##ch" by Buckcherry~"you f##k so good..."
or
"Stoned" by Hinder~"The sex is so much better when your mad at me..."
LOL! just popped up in my mind...amazing...
"
funrod6
Apr 2 2009, 3:03 PM EDT
**setting up the scene before the pick up**
Henry and Brandon are at the great table. Henry eyes a new lady a court. He leans into Brandon and say Who is this beauty. As Brandon says My Lord she is new at court. Henry does his snarl, and laugh. Pushes himself away from the table. Walks up slowly and gently behind the lady and gently wraps an arm around her waist, and whispers
"There is no beauty greater than yours, Ive been to many places far and have all the jewels at my hand. But you ma lady have such Beauty I have never seen *leans close to her ear with his warm breath* I wish to see more of your beauty*
Henry walks away...........looks back with the follow me look.
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 2 2009, 3:17 PM EDT
Mylady ravish on this Royal Jelly & you may live longer"Mylady ravish on this Royal Jelly & you may live longer"
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 5:04 PM EDT
Hey, babe, how would you like to be Mrs.Tudor no. 7?
Dakkietudor
Apr 2 2009, 5:08 PM EDT
No matter how many wives I've had you will be my last...and favourite.
Dakkietudor
Apr 2 2009, 5:09 PM EDT
That is a very beautiful gown you're wearing. I would love you see you out of it tonight.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 2 2009, 5:10 PM EDT
How can I get rid of thee? Let me count the ways...
babbsny
Apr 2 2009, 6:46 PM EDT
You're so sexy that I'd kill to make you "My Queen."
Do you like swan as much as I do?
stephanieford
Apr 2 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
LOL I thought you would like those ones Fran. LOL"How YOU doin!~
Don't bite...~
Dying to sleep w/ me...
Steph LOL!! "
stephanieford
Apr 2 2009, 8:56 PM EDT
"Hey there, what's your name? I have a thing for Katherine's and Anne's. (wink wink)"
"I may be 300 pounds, but all my muscle is in my codpiece."
"You haven't seen the kingdom until you've explored THIS."
"Look into my pants, would I lie to you?"
"They say to be without me is torture."
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:33 PM EDT
THE PLAGUE! THE PLAGUE! Well, it looks like we are stuck here together, and you only live once, you know...
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:34 PM EDT
How about a little joust in the hay, sweetheart?
karenofbethany
Apr 2 2009, 9:39 PM EDT
Come to my rooms and I'll show you the family jewels...
offwithherhead
Apr 2 2009, 10:09 PM EDT
Have you ever given any serious consideration to becoming Queen? (winks)
SirRalph
Apr 2 2009, 11:51 PM EDT
"It's Good To Be The King".
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 3 2009, 12:09 AM EDT
GOOD ONE!"Mylady ravish on this Royal Jelly & you may live longer "
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 3 2009, 12:16 AM EDT
All muscle in my codpiece!! Katherines and Anne's!!! FOMCALMAO!!
{FellOffMyChairAndLaughedMyA$$Off}
"My dear you havent seen the royal jewels yet, they are much bigger than those you wear around your neck!"
"So your name is Anne huh, ummm, can I see your fingers and toes please!"
"You have such a radiance about you more than all the gold and jewels in my kingdom"
hohumpigsbum
Apr 3 2009, 2:59 AM EDT
Hey,baby, how'd you like to be Queen for the day?
crashpam@msn.com
Apr 3 2009, 3:19 AM EDT
"Ah the Tudor rose blooms bright and fast...perhaps yours will be the one to last....!"
misseulamaes
Apr 3 2009, 10:04 AM EDT
My Lady, don't loose your head but I think you are beautiful!
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:19 AM EDT
Care to join me at a party where heads always roll?
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:38 AM EDT
You make me feel like I'm losing my head...let me return the favor.
SemperEadem
Apr 3 2009, 10:50 AM EDT
You're so beautiful, I don't know who will come to a head first!
(*Groans heard all around, including my own. That's it for me!*)
tudorcrazy
Apr 3 2009, 11:11 AM EDT
thats good"I may be the King of England, but I am your most loyal servant. Now let me show you my crown."
tudorcrazy
Apr 3 2009, 11:13 AM EDT
very good"Hey,baby, how'd you like to be Queen for the day?"
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 3 2009, 11:37 AM EDT
Want to live longer Mylady ! Ravish on my Royal jelly & I will fill your honeypot beleive me I am the bees'n'ees!,
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 3 2009, 11:42 AM EDT
royal jelly richer than lube"GOOD ONE!"
beardedlady
Apr 3 2009, 11:50 AM EDT
Some religious pickup lines:
-You make a man want to get excommunicated.
-My love for you burns hotter than my richest monastery.
stephanieford
Apr 3 2009, 12:25 PM EDT
""Can I see your fingers and toes"" LOL"All muscle in my codpiece!! Katherines and Anne's!!! FOMCALMAO!!
{FellOffMyChairAndLaughedMyA$$Off}
"My dear you havent seen the royal jewels yet, they are much bigger than those you wear around your neck!"
"So your name is Anne huh, ummm, can I see your fingers and toes please!"
"You have such a radiance about you more than all the gold and jewels in my kingdom""
stephanieford
Apr 3 2009, 12:27 PM EDT
LMAO @ -You make a man want to get excommunicated."Some religious pickup lines:
-You make a man want to get excommunicated.
-My love for you burns hotter than my richest monastery. "
That's a good one
mysticsmith
Apr 3 2009, 12:31 PM EDT
i am yr loyal heart and will always be true
Siouxsee
Apr 3 2009, 2:03 PM EDT
BALLS SAID THE QUEEN, IF I WERE THE KING I'D HAVE 2 OF THEM!
queen_elizabeth_1533
Apr 3 2009, 4:42 PM EDT
"I was anointed by God, you are the angel he sent down from heaven. We were meant to be together!"
alne
Apr 3 2009, 5:52 PM EDT
My chamber is two doors down, my lady.
LadyJane1961
Apr 3 2009, 6:06 PM EDT
i am henry the eighth i am henry the eighth i am i am i been married 7 time before want to be the 8th
MISSSALLY
Apr 4 2009, 11:19 AM EDT
hey babe do you want to boogie? boogie woogie woggie with me?
misstudor
Apr 5 2009, 1:07 AM EDT
How about...you SHOW me your secrets and I'll TELL you some of mine...
octaviaminor2
Apr 5 2009, 12:45 PM EDT
Does't thou want to see what layest beneath a kingsize codpiece, fair maid?
njjennifer
Apr 5 2009, 10:17 PM EDT
I am auditoning for my next Queen, your up."What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
BlackNan
Apr 6 2009, 6:47 AM EDT
I hope your name is Anne or Katherine... I like keeping it simple.
RoyalMarie00
Apr 6 2009, 10:57 AM EDT
My lady you wouldn't pass up this chanse to be my lucky numebr 7.
mall0080
Apr 6 2009, 11:19 AM EDT
Why don't you come back with me to my palace...I'll make your head roll.
Alchemist81
Apr 8 2009, 1:20 AM EDT
Play your cards right and you may one day have a two season arc...
SemperEadem
Apr 8 2009, 8:44 AM EDT
LOL, that is awesome, ha ha!"Play your cards right and you may one day have a two season arc..."
Natalie_09
Apr 8 2009, 1:09 PM EDT
That gown....so beautiful...I bet it would look better of the floor of my chamber, catch my drift ^_-?
ElizabethRegina
Apr 8 2009, 2:29 PM EDT
"You know, it is better to have loved me and lose a head, than to never have loved me at all!"
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 9 2009, 7:42 AM EDT
LOL!""You know, it is better to have loved me and lose a head, than to never have loved me at all!""
lesliemu
Apr 9 2009, 10:16 AM EDT
King Henry's pick up line: "My lady, let me take you, you'll never be the same."
lesliemu
Apr 9 2009, 10:19 AM EDT
funny!
karenofbethany
Apr 9 2009, 4:33 PM EDT
Oh my beautiful Tudor Rose...let me fertilize you
maryam58
Apr 9 2009, 4:50 PM EDT
i love a woman with a head on her shoulders!"What do you imagine the wickedly delicious King Henry whispered to woo the corsets off the most gorgeous women of the Renaissance? What would he say today? Submit your hilariously seductive pickup line and you could win majestic Tudors prizes!"
Elsann
Apr 9 2009, 5:04 PM EDT
Halt in the name of the King. Okay, spread 'em.
FirstTrueQueenAnne
Apr 9 2009, 5:36 PM EDT
You are the rarest rose in all the land. I'd very much like to prick my fingers on u
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:26 PM EDT
At the auditions for the next Mrs.Tudor...
HENRY: Now, if you're name isn't Catherine,Anne, or Jane please leave now unless you're willling to change it - I'm trying to keep it simple.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:27 PM EDT
You are a rose without a thorn..oh wait I've already used that nickname for another of my wives, I'll get Cranmer to think of another I'm sure he has nothing better to do.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:28 PM EDT
If you want to pick you're preferred method of dying now it'd save a lot of time later
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:30 PM EDT
At his 42nd wedding...
Bishop:Do you take Henry to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Bride:*Gagged And shaking her head* No! No!
Henry: I think I heard a "yes", Bishop
hohumpigsbum
Apr 9 2009, 6:35 PM EDT
Divorced,Beheaded,Died,Divorced,Beheaded..well let's see if this one survives shall we?
ladyinwaiting1986
Apr 9 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
Well...I'm a single white male, with 3 children all alone in a castle. I like sweet-natured weman with fair hair and blue eyes, hoseback riding, jousting and almost all food. Please...no contestants named Catherin, Anne, or Jane.
ladyamy
Apr 9 2009, 9:25 PM EDT
“My love, I ache for the touch of your sweet lips to mine. Ahh just the scent of you weakens me. You are the only woman who can satisfy my needs! Good God woman I need to taste you". As he seductively kisses her hand and passionately places her finger in his hungry mouth, he slips a ring out asking her to Marry him. She cries and says yes. Then he looks at her very seriously and says: Ohh yes I almost forgot, I need you to sign this nuptual agreement, that just says if you don't give me a son withen a year of our marriage I get to keep your head.
Elsann
Apr 9 2009, 9:40 PM EDT
I think this is my favorite. Not that she could complain if he got it wrong!
mchnor37
Apr 9 2009, 10:50 PM EDT
"My lady, before you lay here in your lord's bed, I ask thee.....am I the lord you hold dear to your heart?"
mchnor37
Apr 9 2009, 10:55 PM EDT
"My lady....I ask thee.......when you lay here in your lord's bed.....am I the lord you hold so dear and close to your heart?"
christiana_de_mer
Apr 9 2009, 11:45 PM EDT
Trust me, my dear. It's just gossip. They all died of natural causes.
hohumpigsbum
Apr 10 2009, 4:52 AM EDT
I will love you until the day I die...well, the day YOU die
theanneboleynfiles
Apr 10 2009, 7:49 AM EDT
"Not many women lose their head over me, but I can guarantee you will, sweetheart."
sherrylabtec
Apr 10 2009, 7:59 AM EDT
My Lady, What do you think of a walk in the garden, and a roll in the hay.
sherrylabtec
Apr 10 2009, 8:07 AM EDT
It's good to be the KING!
Wanna try for Queen?
MISSSALLY
Apr 10 2009, 12:34 PM EDT
oh baby everything is allright..ill be the one to tuck you in at night...one thing i can gurantee you wont find no body else like me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hohumpigsbum
Apr 10 2009, 1:20 PM EDT
*While playing chess with a beautiful woman*
Henry: Oh look at that - King takes Queen.
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:18 PM EDT
I can give you the moon & the stars but most of all I want to give you my sun!
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:32 PM EDT
Mylady please accept this beautiful necklace for 1 night of unforgettable passion with your king I promise you It will be mind blowing, go on girl stick your neck out!
Tracey_Wilson
Apr 10 2009, 2:57 PM EDT
Hey baby your eyes shine like the stars above, after a night with me you will be totally in love, I promise you darling you will be as high as the sky, you will be up there with the best of them no lie!
FMFJRMGRL
Apr 11 2009, 9:35 AM EDT
So who is the winner? Anyone know yet?
mysticsmith
Apr 11 2009, 10:04 AM EDT
i dont know the winner either but thought i could add another one heheheheh . the houses of york and lancaster are untied let us be also
marianna1959
Apr 11 2009, 12:56 PM EDT
my lady to taste your beauty would be worth my crown
TheRedWhiteRose
Apr 11 2009, 6:36 PM EDT
"To caress you heart I must be between your breast"
jsardonne
Apr 11 2009, 7:10 PM EDT
Henry: I'm exercising my divine rights, interested in a divine time?
darrrrksunshine
Apr 19 2009, 6:05 PM EDT
Let's see- you have a 50% chance that you will marry me and live happily ever after until you die. You have a 50% chance that you will marry me and I will divorce you. You have a 50% chance of marrying me and having your head cut off. What? That is not more than 100%, how dare you question my mathematical skills.
So how 'bout it? Want to try your odds? It's 50/50. You win, I win, everybody wins.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:34 PM EDT
Could you treat my third leg?
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:36 PM EDT
Since I am a monarch anointed by God, I suggest we go and have a "divine" time.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:38 PM EDT
I always dreamed of a "menage a six" but the others didn't make it.
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:39 PM EDT
Let's go hunting...you can choose your own "mount"
karenofbethany
Apr 20 2009, 8:40 PM EDT
My cod piece is tight and I need a friendly readjustment.